Stumbling steps…Some days are bad, and some days are bad because you set them up that way. Wednesday last, for example. I decided to walk to the drugstore…I walk a bit every day, right? And the Doc said that would be OK, right? So I walked to the drugstore to pick up a prescription, a distance (as I discovered) of about 2.5 Km, each way! Now, in the “old days” – before January 16, I walked 4 or 5 km every day. But that was, what, two and a half months ago. This absence defines “out of shape” pretty clearly.
By the time I had reached the store, I knew I had (as my mother use to say), “bitten off more than I could chew.” I started back…slowly. Stopped at the Library for a read and a rest. Walked the next ½ Km to Tim Horton’s. After a rejuvenating coffee and talk, I begged a ride home. I should have marked “dumb” on the calendar. It was just too much this soon. The rest of the day was OK. Then came Thursday morning. Poor feeling. Getting poorer. Most of the afternoon I has a sore head. Not the same as a headache. A “sore head” the doctor told me, was a sign that I should lie down, because my brain needed rest time. I spent a lot of the day on my back, with no energy. Not even enough to go to the corner for mail. Advil double strength helped, but I was in bed shortly after nine PM, and slept through the night for the first time in some days.
I feel much better today, and I am still digesting the truth that I am a slow learner, and that my body talks, even if it mostly talks back at me after the event. I have taken it much easier today, though I did walk even in the wind. But not far. Visiting with two sets of friends at Tim’s gave me small sweats ( a sign of anxiety).I came home and spent time in bed. The rest of the day I will have to myself, and my head no longer hurts.
I ponder how long this whole thing is going to take. Longer than I can imagine. And I reflect on how dumb I am, on occasion. On occasion, you who would laugh aloud.
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