Another step? Or just another day with the same steps over and
over. In any case, a fresh approach to tackling the annoying issues of sleeps
and lack of focus. Last night was disastrous; no sleep until 3, groggy all
morning, ads well as feeling poor, with a sore head…
I plotted the day. Lots of long walks, taken without speed, just
to condition the wobbly legs and actually get
somewhere. Long sociable time at Tim’s with people familiar with physical
distress, so held the whole thing seriously. Then a long walk home. This
assured me of enough exercise to make me tired. I did append some time on my
back before preparing dinner.
My evening strategy was simple: no overly dramatic TV or reading.
The reading was a failure in the evening; attention span has shortened to
minutes, so I can’t keep focus on a story or article for long. Big change: I
ingest one whole Xanax pill (as prescribed), hoping this will make me more
soporific. In a way it does, Certainly, by 9 PM I am already yawning toward
bed, having had no panic attacks the whole day, even when sitting at coffee
with four people. Before ten I am laid out and listening to a reasonable talk
show (no one was raising my hackles with paeans of praise for our
every-hair-in-place boy scout PM). Out like a light.
I awoke just now at 2 AM for perfectly natural reasons…see how
delicately put… and will soon be in bed and asleep again till morning. I have
pledged to lie in bed until Gomeschie time, where up-getting is necessary as I
am totally put off by Mr. ‘I’m-heading-for-the-corner-office-of the-
CBC-just-you-wait-and see.’
The day tomorrow is planned, on
my head at least to be quiet and focused, as MD ordered. One anomaly to
puzzle through. The insurance company insists I should have notified them of my
incident the day after it happened, rather than four weeks later, when my wits
returned. If I am not allowed to fly, I may be penalized for that failure – ie,
given less money! If, on the other hand, I AM allowed to fly with MD clearance,
and any ‘incidents’ occur, I will not be able to claim insurance because it was
a prior condition about which they were aware! Does this sound like s poker
game with your opponent having access to your cards from the start, and making
up the rules as the game unfolds! Why insure at all, when you are old, since by
then, almost every condition is “pre-existing”? Think on that as you plan your
vacation!
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