Set up and demonstrated our new power washer
this morning. Effortlessly cleaned the back wall of the house. Big Plan: next
Saturday, for the first time in a decade, we will take everything out of the
garage, and clean it, power washer
and squeegee! And then put everything back in place in a clean garage. Or so it
says here.
The title of this entry might give you a clue to the question mark
that hovers over this plan. I want to
do it; we have to do it…but I don’t know
if I can do it. Wrestling with the
hoses and couplings this morning, and fooling around in the driveway garden for
15 minutes, left me ready for a nap…a lie down…a break.
I am weak; physically weak. There is nothing like 4 and one half months
of lying around, either dragging a catheter or “not getting excited” about
anything, to turn all your muscle tone to cold porridge. Mush. I am appalled at
the little I can do before I’m done. It amazes me that I can walk quite a few
Kms without trouble. But lifting, pushing, twisting…you name it. I’m done.
My gratitude, so far unexpressed in this entry, is that I am able
to do anything at all! I could be dead, or crippled. I am able
to do more and more. But muscle tone will take months, perhaps years, to
return. And maybe it never will return. The ‘accepting of things I cannot
change’ is the hardest part of the program that I’m in. Definitely.
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