The small things…

The recovery process seems to have slowed, or even be indistinguishable from ‘normal’ life these days. Exercising is not stressful and doesn’t appear to affect my BP. I have very few headaches, especially if I honour the need o become horizontal after lunch for even a few minutes.

I do get frustrated with the degree of forgetfulness that I continue to experience. The Doctor says that will improve, but I am not so sure. Once an act is done, it just ‘falls off the table’ and is “in the past.” My reading ability seems fine, except for the nagging problem of a shortened attention span. I can’t read anything for too long a time. In the evening it is much worse if I am tired. Last evening, I was cruising through FB, and came across a number of interesting articles. The best I could do was read part of an article…and then move on. No sustained focus seemed possible.

In a similar vein, I seem to have trouble gathering and arranging complex and unfamiliar facts in a way that makes them coherent. Trying to get straight what the engineer and the contractor are working about the garage keeps me totally on edge. I understand it…and then I don’t understand it. I’m glad Beatrix is masterminding this. I don’t think I could manage it without huge frustration.

The other periodic impact of the stroke is the Periodic Wakeful Night. Every week or so, I find myself unaccountably awake at night. Nothing on my mind, just awake. Wednesday night last, it was the whole night. I lay and listened to the radio, I got up and read, I blogged…and I watched dawn slowly creep over the world. About 8 in the morning, I felt limp. That passed, and I made it through the day OK. Last night, I was in bed early, and went immediately to sleep. I awoke around one thirty in the morning. The experience of waking was like surfacing after a very need dive. I ‘broke the surface’ of consciousness, and then looked around to see if anyone else had made it. There was Beatrix, sleeping like a baby. I slept again, off and on, until I rose at five to start my day.

I don’t notice my narrowed peripheral vision, but then, it hasn’t been challenged lately. We’ll see. My creaky body needs a chiropractor – next week – after the jolting I got missing a step at the B&B in Edmonton last month.

Sermon day today. I have been able, slowly, to focus attention on worship preparation. It is difficult, however. I have one in the can, just in case I can’t keep it together to finish my own idea compilation. See you soon!