Thursday, March 22, 2012

Changing seasons, maybe

Twice a year we have solstices - summer and winter. Twice a year we have equinoxes - spring and fall. These are astronomical events having to do with the angle of the sun's light hitting earth, or the distance of the sun from our part of the globe. Brief, and non-scientific descriptions, but good enough for today.

Whether or not there is a scientific basis for this or not, I am virtually always affected by the equinox and the solstice - more by the former. Usually, I feel out of sorts for a day or two, sometimes I get quite depressed for no discernible reason. Most of the time I have to be reminded of the seasonal event afterwards, when I am trying to figure out what I've been going through. There is always a little inward "aha" that I experience when I 'get it.'

I wonder if any other people have this experience, or if it's completely idiosyncratic. It always puzzles me, but I am usually relieved to discover that there might be some "reason" for my brief dip in mood and feelings. Leading up to this most recent equinox - March 20, Tuesday last - I experienced a two day headache. This hasn't been an experience I've 'enjoyed' since my migraine days, over 25 years ago. Advil didn't help, but it wasn't debilitating. I just hurt, like there was something heavy on my mind. Of course, I was also suddenly depressed, and a little paranoid about some things. Weird. Does anyone else go through this? Is there any objective basis for this, or am I truly just…weird?

In any case, this morning - Thursday, March 22 - I feel much differently. Fine, even. Although I have, for inexplicable reasons, changed my morning habits! (You can't imagine how fixed and rigid my morning habits usually are!) No walk - "I'll go later, just before lunch, in the light." Really? Not first thing? Wow!

Now, those few of you who follow these ramblings will be sure that I am weird. Such a little thing, so firmly fixed, so "odd" to do. Like, who cares? Like, I usually do! So, I'm shrugging and saying to myself, "Oh well, even James can make a few little changes. Perhaps it simply evolution, working its wonders on even me, old and fixed as I am."

So to day, after I work out in the pool, and have a talk with my pastor, I will take the North trail for an hour, hopefully before the snow begins (Oh, yes, we're getting snow. Not spring yet, despite the equinox.) I will actually start looking to see if there is any basis in science for my current weirdness. It would be nice to gave some reason to be so…odd. Wouldn't you agree?

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