Another day of almost doing something. But not really. Spent some time thinking about what to write for the local paper that would be different from the usual "religious" musings of the more evangelical Christians here. Actually, I'm regularly embarrassed by the way that community has co-opted the name "Christian" and bent it all out of shape into a "literal and inerrant" coat hangar. Makes me feel defensive about the name, wanting to explain to the agnostic community that a lot of us aren't THAT, but re still Christian in belief and (hopefully) lifestyle. Mostly I just get angry and swear under my breath. At home, I often swear out loud at that, and other things.
I don't imagine many people wonder who I am; but I regularly wonder. I live in a body that feels its age a lot of the time. I don't think I look that old, but who knows? Internally, I often feel exactly like I did when I was 17, or 22, or 30. And sometimes that feels terribly inappropriate. Its the 17 year-old self that gets tattoos from Diego and even the local guy. It's the 21 year-old me who really appreciates the look of young women. It's the 30 year-old parent in me tat wants to straighten out some geek in Timmy's who is acting like a jerk. Most of the time I sit on these guys, but sometimes I get all anxious about who really lives in this old wreck of a carcass. Anyone else ever wonder that?
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