Every time I turn around, there seems to be
another ‘medical crisis’ to fill my life. The “pain in the back of my head,”
began to unnerve him, and make me anxious. I suppose anyone who’s suffered a
stroke might find that happening. In any case, we spent a total of eight hours
in Wetaskiwin ER last weekend, waiting to be seen, and then, later, waiting for
a CT scan. The ER MD was a man whom I have talked to before, and like and
trust. He was quite sure it was external rather than internal – a pinched nerve
or a pulled muscle high on my neck or on the back of my skull. Hence the plan
for a CT scan to confirm that diagnosis. In the midst of his putative
explanation, I remembered that, while swimming, I found it difficult to crank
my head to the left to draw a breath. When a tried that in the ER, the pain in
my head was very sharp. Sure enough: pinched nerve, made worse by the arthritis
in my neck. I still swim, the pain still comes and goes, but now that I know
what it is, I can live with it. I’m sure my neck will settle down as I swim
more. I noticed this this morning that I wasn’t quite as pooped after ten
lengths, as I was the other day.
This past Sunday was the first time I have
conducted worship since mid-February. I found myself using while preparing, and
being shaken by the fact that it took so much energy to do things that have
been second nature to me for the last half -century. I was anxious as the
weekend approached. Sunday morning, I was very nervous. Of course, the whole
thing went very well. I am known to the congregation in which I led worship,
and that helped. I have two more Sundays coming up, in a different community. I
am known there, and feel at home with the people, so I am not as anxious about
these two events.
The experience of anxiety and lack of
energy in preparing face me with the fact that I couldn’t work again, even if I
wanted to. It would take more than I have at the moment. I am quite happy to be
available to lead worship now and then, here and there.
I’m finding the days and evenings passing
with boring regularity right now, making me wonder what, if anything, I should
be doing with the rest of my life, apart from wasting it. I guess recovering is
still in process, as I can’t seem to muster the energy to focus on anything
concrete in which to become involved. At least I have been able to write the
odd column for the local paper. That’s new!
As I worked y way through Face Book last
evening, I came upon a post made by my son. He was rejoicing over the welcome
he received from his little granddaughter when he came home from the lake
yesterday. It was touching, and I smiled at it. But in response to it, I found
a great sadness and regret welling up in me. Because I moved, first east, then
west, I was not present for much of my grandchildren’s early childhood. A bit
of Danny and Nico’s lives were close by, and some of Diego and Rapha’s. In
their teens, I have had some lovely time with Emma and Angus – he joins us in a
week or so for a short visit. Yea! I guess that’s the price I pay for allowing
my professional life to move me around the country, instead of staying put with
my family as top priority. One pays for one’s decisions.
Just before the weekend, I decided that our
deck needed a couple of coals of water sealing. This morning, we tackled it,
and got two coats on most of the deck in the morning. Once the current coat is
dry, the furniture will be moved to other side, and the final few boards will
be treated tomorrow. Fortunately, it will be hot and sunny – good weather for
soaking in and drying up, before the next rain.
We were in contact with Bruce, who has yet
to finish the carpentry work in our garage. Sounds like it will be completed by
this weekend or shortly afterward, so I can move the “junk” back inside from
the yard, and stop locking the gates against potential thievery. It’s amazing
how one small incident of having an item stolen from our yard has made me
vigilant about security!
Now that World Cup is over, there are no
more football games to watch each day or two. I was quite happy that Germany
won the cup, defeating Argentina 1-0. It was an exciting game, quite rough in
spots on the part of frustrated Argentine players. One German knocked out and
concussed, and another with a small chunk taken out of his face, requiring
stitches! Still no red cards given, though the same Argentine player delivered
both injuries. I must say that a good football game – soccer, for North
Americans – is exciting to watch, as plays unfold, and strategies develop. All
of this done by superb athletes who run as much as 10 km at a good pace during
a game! Makes baseball players and even North American football players seem
like slobs by comparison.
Beatrix has been dealing with fallout from
a routine Presbytery visit to the congregation. She got some disturbing
feedback, and clearly has some work to do in the wake of it. This upheaval has
got her thinking again about when she wants to retire. At this point, she is
really tired, not just from the year, but from about four years of medical
upheaval in our little family. Getting away at the end of the month will be
very good for her.
Summer is finally upon us. Temperature in
the high 20’s the last few days, and will rise to over 30° C in the next couple
of days. I can do without that; 22° is plenty high enough for me.
Tomorrow is a walking day for me, so I plan
to be up and out by 6:30 or 7:00 to beat the heat, and hope that the tender
muscle in my left calf can take the walk. Should know by 8:00 AM tomorrow! More
recovery spaced with little injuries that must be iced and rested. Not really
an athlete, but with minor athletic issues.
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