Vacation…ended

It’s been awhile. I’ve been away in Ottawa, visiting my eldest daughter and her four boys. It was a great visit; I even got all four boys together in a restaurant one evening. They caught up with one another, as well as with me. Dinners with my grandson Raphael were special. I got to know him a bit better as an adult, and that was a special treat.

I’ve been thinking about the “recovery” theme today. A couple of events to mention. One day, in Ottawa, I was resting after lunch, half asleep, when my mobile rang. It was my former colleague from Lacombe. He was planning an All saints Day service, during which he would mention all the people who had dies and been buried from the church in 2012. He was calling to ask me about two of the funerals I conducted. Remember that I answered him out of a half-asleep state. He asked me about details of the life of one of the men I buried. I could remember the name correctly, but details? Not a chance. The second funeral I conducted two days after my stroke (still in denial) and, though I could remember the family that was it. I think he was quite frustrated with me. Not only did he get little information, but the call was expensive as well, since I was thousands of kilometers away!

This incident reminded me that I have a broken brain, a damaged memory, and an incomplete structure within which to process information. I couldn’t recall much of what he asked for. I felt embarrassed and depressed that I was an inadequate colleague.  He sounded as frustrated as I felt.

By contrast, there was the evening when I took Jennifer, Diego and Rapha out for dinner. Such wonderfully supportive and open conversation! Toward the end of our evening, we were sitting together in a gelato shop (hmmmmm), finishing our treat, when we got talking about 1. Freemasonry (the boys are both interested in that subject, and 2. The stroke; where it occurred, which part of my brain was involved, and how I experienced it. Diego was particularly keen, since he is currently studying the brain in his pre-EMS course. It was a wonderful time, during which I could open myself to the boys and see them respond to my openness.

I also had a very frank talk with Jennifer about my separation from her Mom. I never imagined she would be such an open and caring listener to me. It was a special moment for me.

The worst part of the trip was the flight home. I was tired; the plane was packed, and it was hot, and I felt cramped in the seat. It also took forever. I began contemplating the cost of a first class seat on Air Canada for next time…in my dreams!