August without Beatrix…

It’s been a more difficult week than I expected. Beatrix has been away since Monday, and in her absence I have felt more “burdened” with having the two grandchildren here. They have done nothing different from before, it’s just that I am more anxious about looking after them when I have no backup, IE, Beatrix. I’m afraid that I will forget something, or get too tired to deal with them appropriately (that happened only once). My blood pressure has been high all week, much higher than normal, even in the morning. A sign, I guess, that I’m feeling pressure.

The concrete work around the garage is finished, including a working drain – at last! Angus finished clearing the gravel from the back yard garden – a beautiful job, requiring a full day of heavy labour, and a second day of meticulous picking up. He’s been an invaluable resource. This would not have happened without him.  I got the Roundup down on the back, and will start the front lawn tomorrow. Bruce will come with the trees whenever he’s ready, and the finishing off of the front yard will then proceed.

I suppose this week, “recovery” means learning to live with additional pressure and anxiety without giving in to it. I have been sleeping well, walking 3-4 km each morning, working out in the pool three – five times weekly, including tough evenings in the deep pool alone, since no one else is showing up for class.

Angus and I went to the movies the other night. Saw “2Guns” – a shoot-em-up movie with Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg. The plot was thin, the acting brilliant and funny. Too many casual shootings to be comfortable – the gun culture just rocks on! But we had fun. We’ve picked Emma up each night at 10 or 11 o’clock. I think she appreciates it. She’s off to work this afternoon feeling not so good – headache – so we will definitely pick her up tonight. She’s off Monday and Tuesday. I have promised her some driving time tomorrow. I need to get a firm hand on next Sunday. I won’t have either PowerPoint or More Voices next week, and I’m feeling the loss a whole lot.

Recovery for this coming week will involve working on the deep breathing to bring my BP down before I take it. I have no external commitments this week, but do have to get the yard “Round-upped” for Bruce to continue. Let’s hope there is no rain!