I'm actually a very shy person, and getting shy-er as I grow older. People who've known me a long time would doubt this, because I have a very good exterior extroverted persona. I can laugh and joke, play the clown, and interact with just about anyone. It's tiring, however, and afterward, I want to spend some time alone, with a book or a computer or the TV. I spend a lot of time alone now that I'm not working full time, or even much part time. I don't mind that, most of the time. I read or write or surf. I talk to myself internally and externally a lot of the time.
One of the features I appreciate about blogging is that I can put my ideas and feelings out on paper without being concerned about how that impacts other people. I can't imagine that many people would find my ideas interesting and stimulating. So I do this for myself. I am a "pretend" writer. The odd column for the local paper, a sermon now and then. That's it.
Recently, I have been connecting with a young mother who is progressing (?) slowly toward the end of her life with leukemia. She has known about this, and been dealing with it for just over a year. She is a professional woman, very articulate, intelligent and extremely knowledgeable about her disease. Her online Journal is detailed, informative, emotionally powerful…and exhausting to read. This isn't a negative for me. I feel closer to her feelings when I can feel the weight of her experience on my shoulders. Great for the mind, heavy for the heart. Her friends respond to her with support and care. It's a beautiful arrangement. Not perfect, but good in its own way.
To switch gears for a moment…. I am trying to write a column for our local paper about the need to "update" the Christian faith so it speaks to the contemporary mind and heart, in language that is current rather than ancient. I'm finding it hard work, mostly because I'm not as 'contemporary' as I'd like to think. I'm "here," but I'm ancient. I have to work within the boundaries of my own limitations. I'm trying to do the novelist thing: feel my way into the character and speak as he/she would speak. Or in this case, hear. I suspect I'm in for a few drafts. I might even get the courage to log the thing in here, to see if anyone responds. Or perhaps not. I'm writing for myself, not for others to tell me what they think about what I say.
Anyway…enough for this morning. To anyone who's reading: happy Valentine's Day. I hope you have someone to love you. I do, and I feel very fortunate. (Wow! No spelling mistakes! A first!)
One of the features I appreciate about blogging is that I can put my ideas and feelings out on paper without being concerned about how that impacts other people. I can't imagine that many people would find my ideas interesting and stimulating. So I do this for myself. I am a "pretend" writer. The odd column for the local paper, a sermon now and then. That's it.
Recently, I have been connecting with a young mother who is progressing (?) slowly toward the end of her life with leukemia. She has known about this, and been dealing with it for just over a year. She is a professional woman, very articulate, intelligent and extremely knowledgeable about her disease. Her online Journal is detailed, informative, emotionally powerful…and exhausting to read. This isn't a negative for me. I feel closer to her feelings when I can feel the weight of her experience on my shoulders. Great for the mind, heavy for the heart. Her friends respond to her with support and care. It's a beautiful arrangement. Not perfect, but good in its own way.
To switch gears for a moment…. I am trying to write a column for our local paper about the need to "update" the Christian faith so it speaks to the contemporary mind and heart, in language that is current rather than ancient. I'm finding it hard work, mostly because I'm not as 'contemporary' as I'd like to think. I'm "here," but I'm ancient. I have to work within the boundaries of my own limitations. I'm trying to do the novelist thing: feel my way into the character and speak as he/she would speak. Or in this case, hear. I suspect I'm in for a few drafts. I might even get the courage to log the thing in here, to see if anyone responds. Or perhaps not. I'm writing for myself, not for others to tell me what they think about what I say.
Anyway…enough for this morning. To anyone who's reading: happy Valentine's Day. I hope you have someone to love you. I do, and I feel very fortunate. (Wow! No spelling mistakes! A first!)
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