Back! Sort of…

I've been missing in action for a week or two. Not away, just "missing." A combination of distraction, ennui and a growing sense of "what the hell?" The dragging-on-forever election is one reason. A needed change in medication another. Lack of sleep factors in there somewhere.

I know, I know, "Excuses, excuses…" But I have not been feeling up to snuff recently, and hopefully, my medical consultation today will change that. On the plus side, I did have the energy to swim a full kilometre today, first time in a while. Hopefully I can do that again soon. It feels so…good!

I'll be glad when the election is over, although if it turns out badly for the left-of-centre people like me, I'll be crushed. More whining will ensue. I will stop for the day, since I literally have nothing useful to say. Wouldn't it be great if more on-line writers did the same?

Reminiscence…and grief

As part of our planning to move in the next two years, we are beginning to divest ourselves of a lot of "stuff." A lot of books have already gone. Beatrix has tackled her office closet. The other day I decided to begin the same process in my office. I started with the most personal part of the office; the filing cabinet. I began that task with the most personal drawer in the cabinet, the bottom drawer, where a lot of personal material resides. That became an intensely painful time.

The bottom drawer contains, among other things, the fat files of my mother's papers, and another of my father's papers. Suddenly, I was cast back to the late 80's, when the two of them died, six months apart. I haven't looked at that material for over twenty years - a form of denial, I am sure.

Birth certificates, pictures, hand written notes, immigration papers, and a wealth of family tree material. I was overcome with grief and sadness, which clings to me yet, over 24 hours later. I traced my parents' families back as far as 1790. I encountered names I had long forgotten, like Erasmus Trowsse, a great great great uncle. I discovered the Lindsay family on my father's side, and that I am very distantly related to the former Mayor of New York City , John Lindsay. The information and its emotional meaning still swirls round in my brain. I feel overwhelmed and burdened with it. It's like my parents died just a few days ago, and I am only now starting to mourn them and the long families that trail behind them.

I had the presence of mind to make copies of everything family tree related, so I can pass it to my children. They will do as they like with it. I am fearful that I will do little more than read it over again, to try and take it in. I feel disappointed in myself that I didn't deal with this material twenty years ago. Another regret.

Today I began another drawer, and encountered files of sermons I preached in the 60's, 70's and 80's. I suddenly want to read them all, and cling to them. Why? I have ignored and forgotten them for decades. But they take me back. I read a funeral meditation I gave at the service of an old psychiatric colleague with whom I worked in Winnipeg. He died in the 70's. I was able to read and recall him well, a strong man who hid his amazing history from most of us until his family told us at the end of it all. I was quite eloquent over a man I knew and cared deeply about.

Reading an old letter of mother's, I came face to face with the warmth she radiated all the time I knew her. Seeing my father Certificate of Proficiency from the St John's Ambulance Corps, dated January 1923, just a few months before he came to Canada. Afresh surprise was discovered on a neatly printed card where he had quoted a full poem by Goethe, focused on faith and love. This, from the hand of an agnostic who had me thinking all my life that he was an atheist!

These papers will not go out. I will read them again and again, and recover my deceased parents with a  fondness that suddenly wells up in me. Surely the remainder of my culling can't be more painful or revealing than this. Or could it be?

September song, part 1

It has been awhile. Blame it on reintegration at home, as well as ramping up of the election campaign Federally. The latter has seen me running around, erecting signs on lawns where people have asked for them, and making arrangements for a Candidate Kickoff meeting which was held last evening.

The Federal election campaign has been most interesting. The governing Conservatives have been taking a hard time in the media and in the polls. A scandal inside the PM's office, the appointment if crooked Senators currently before the courts, as well as rogue candidates being fired and replaced, has left the Pm scrambling to try and stay on message - unsuccessfully. The current Syrian refugee crisis is giving him grief as well.

The two more progressive parties, The Liberals and the New Democrats, have been jousting for first place in the runnings. The Liberals have a charismatic pretty face as leader, deemed by many to be too young and inexperienced to be PM, while the ND's have a seasoned political vet, with lots of experience in the Quebec National Assembly, as well as generally more progressive policies. The campaign is just now, after 6 weeks, beginning to ramp up and get exciting. The next 6 weeks will tell a more complete tale.

I had a lovely visit in Didsbury with a former student; mostly a sharing of current aging woes as well as dreams for the future. I got myself a new tattoo - the Strachan family crest - on my right forearm. This will probably be all for the time being; no more arm space, and lots of pondering before tattoos anywhere else.

I've noticing lately some deterioration in my physical condition. I gained a few pounds on vacation - about 5 - and I have been having trouble losing them. I also notice that my knees are more painful than previously. My morning walks are more of a challenge. the knee braces I purchased on vacation help a good deal, but there is no denying that things are worse in that area. My back, too, is slower to respond to treatment and rest. Almost 81, so I suppose I can't expect anything different. We've both been taking a new herbal remed, the pure version of Turmeric. It is reportedly really good for the reduction of inflammation. I'm watching for even limited improvement.

I've been watching both email and the post for news of my mail-in ballot arriving, as well as the application for a license to marry a couple in Toronto in Ontario. Vital Stats in Ontario have a very rigorous process for the obtaining of a day license. They must have had some bad experiences, or else they have a dragon for a supervisor.

My reading ability has been a bit compromised by an eye problem, and I've wandered away from serious reading for a bit.  Novels are fine, but my brain is currently lazy about absorbing heavier stuff. Soon, perhaps. More in a few days, I hope.

back on the home place

We arrived home from our almost-month-long trip just prior to last weekend. In the end, we both felt the need to get into our own home and our beds. The last part of our trip, our Val Marie time, was somewhat dampened by the less-than-stellar state of our B&B. The owner has a great facility for making the ordinary sound wonderful. We fell for the pitch, and found the digs cramped and somewhat unsatisfactory for $100 a day.

Driving home, I was impressed with the way in which the simple act of sitting in a car all day quite tiring. A symptom of advancing age, I imagine. I was glad to get my feet on terra firma again. It took us more than a day to unpack, wash clothes and get re-oriented to home. We managed to attend worship together on Beatrix' last Sunday of vacation.

The rush of current events caught up to us last evening. Our political party's nomination meeting for our constituency was held Monday evening. Two candidates, one a senior and very experienced male, the other a young Aboriginal woman. The man one. He'll be a good candidate, if a bit of a maverick. He may give our very conservative Conservative MP a good run for his money. It will be his last campaign, as he is 65, and a representative of a long past of service. The young woman, unseasoned, but bright, is the face of the next election, and our party's future. But as the Cons say of Justin Trudeau, "she just isn't ready."

My enthusiasm for the party's national aspirations are not matched by those for my own riding. I think our candidate is too much of a lone wolf, too out-of-step with party strategy, to make a huge impact. There is no doubt that he is a good speaker, and very knowledgeable. He tends to do too much on his own, without calling on the resources of others, and he just can't be everyplace at once.

I'm in the midst of a very slow time for me, a chance to write a bit and ponder life. Likely a very good thing to do at this juncture of my life. I have decisions to make about what I will spend my energy on this winter, and what, if anything, I will write. My time of writing for the local paper is about at an end, and I see no other valid avenues for me right now. So I ponder and watch, and wait. And listen.

I'm finding that my attention span for reading is shrinking, as is my enthusiasm. That's something new for me, and I hope it changes. It may, on the other hand, be one of those things about which I must the 'courage to accept the thing I cannot change.'

As my ex-mother in law was wont to say, "more anon."

On the Road again.....

The last time I posted, we had just begun our vacation. Today, we are four days from returning home after almost a month on the road! We visited three families of children with their children - our grandchildren - and an ailing friend in another city. We have traversed most of three Canadian provinces, and experienced a couple of rain and wind storms.

Among the highlights of our travels was a memorable dinner with daughter Janet and her two sons, with the fiancee of of one of the boys. We had a lovely weekend with Kathryn and company, watching our grandson Angus (15) pass from boy to adolescent, and report for his very first ay of work. A long and deep conversation with Keith and Kathy was greatly appreciated by myself and by Beatrix, helping me to connect again with my son.

Visiting Gordon and Hazel in Regina was a good thing to do. Gordon is ailing and his spouse, who recently broke her hip, is frail. Her rrazor  ssharp wit remains intact, however, and provided lots of humor during our time together.

At this point, we are back in Val Marie and on the edge of the Grasslands National Park, where we did our first hike today. I am frustrated by my diminished capacity for uphill walking, and hence, the lessening of my chances of doing all the walking I'd like to do. This time, an added complication is Beatrix' hip bursitis, which slows he down, and gives her considerable pain to boot.(Bad pun....)

We shared a musical concert in the hotel bar last evening with a large crowd of locals. The music wasn't my favourite style, butt the cause was the support of the Prairie Winds coffee shop, bookstore  and museumm  and bookstoore..The iPaad is  accting up again,, o I'll  stop..

A full day!

Exciting days in Medicine Hat. Yesterday a visit to an exquisite rural museum at Etzicom, complete with a badly deteriorating windmill museum, plus a stop at Red Rock Coulee, complete with - you guessed it - red rocks formed at the bottom of the ocean that once covered this part of the country. Climbing the hill in a screaming wind proved to be a monumental feat, accomplished with some difficulty.

Today, we visited St. Patrick's Church, a beautiful neo-Gothic building across the river in the Hat. While there, admiring gorgeous stained glass, we had a terrific visit with the janitor, an Iraqi immigrant, who shared some of his story with us, after letting us in graciously through a locked door. Later in the day, after a supposedly Tapas lunch - no Tapas were in evidence - we had an equally fascinating visit withe the owner/operator of the Millagro Food shop. This retired police officer from Saskatchewan is a purist. He makes Cuban coffee fresh for each cup, bakes his own bread and buns, and serves world famous Kosher hot dogs, straight from New York! His cafe, about 10 feet square, is a choice delight. Smoothest and sharpest coffee I've had in months. We plan to return for a proper lunch in the next day or two, to sample the real goods!

He was a trove of great thoughts about places to eat in Medicine Hat, plus a purist chef';s view of the food industry. A visit to the Esplanade art exhibits, plus a display of old motorcycles, including a racer build around a jet engine! Imagine straddling an engine with after burners and 2000 lbs of thrust! We are at home now before venturing out to another eating adventure, likely Indian or Vietnamese food. This town has an amazing collection of ethnic eateries! Who knew?      

Vacation!

At last, on vacation! Beatrix and I enjoyed an-almost five day workshop/retreat at the Juniper Hotel in Banff this past week. It was a spiritual under with the leadership of John Philip Newell, former head of the Iona Community in Scotland. It was entitled Rebirthing God. I found it a refreshing alternative to the Progressive Christianity movement as a way of moving forward in theological thinking as well as spiritual practice in the 21st century.

Newell blends very progressive, reflection based theology with prayer times and Meditation styles Of
 sorts to give participants a new angle on understanding God language, as well as grasping the notion of "God" in and under everything in the created order - a new way of expanding Paul Tillich's "God as ground-of-Being" approach. Newell has written a number of books on Celtic Spirituality, a refreshing change from traditional catholic-based spiritual practice, as well as from narrow and juvenile concepts of God as a Being up above controlling everything below.

The setting was delightful, on the edge of bustling (at least!) Banff, in the heart of the Rockies, with companiable people. Something I noticed in comparing the "workshop attendance crowd," is that thge particpants have beckome more upscale financially and more open to sptiritual/r,eligioud practice than in the old days

But now we are in Medicine Hat, on vacation! Today is - literally - the first day of t.ghe rest of this life! After breakfast, we are off to the Tourist Centre, for pointers on what to do first, second and so on. Talk to you more later! दिस्कोवेरेड ठाट