Dramatic times!

It has been a difficult and challenging week. Those of you not living in Canada may be unaware that last week, on two separate occasions, in two different cities, a member of the Canadian military was attacked and killed. On Monday in Montreal, Patrice Vincent was run down with a car driven by a deranged man; on Wednesday in Ottawa, Nathanial Cerillo was gunned down as he guarded the Canadian War Memorial at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier, just a few hundred meters from the House of Parliament. The shooter then proceeded to race into the Parliament Building, trying to find someone to shoot. The Sergeant at Arms shot him just a few steps outside the Parliamentary Library.

As it turns out, neither of the killers was a representative of any Islamic Jihadi movement, although initial reports seemed to indicate that this was the case. Both men had contact with a mosque at some point, but neither could be thought of as Muslim. Despite this, there were incidents, here and there, of anti-Islamic rage. A modest mosque in Cold Lake, Alberta, home of the Canadian Forces base that had dispatched fighter planes to attack ISIS in Iraq, was defaced with hostile slogans, and had a window broken.

One of the many touching follow up actions took place here, where the day after the attack, a large group of non-Muslim neighbours arrived at the mosque with buckets and scrub brushes and restored the mosque to its original state, making sure their Muslim neighbours knew that they all despised such racist and anti-religious actions. Similar acts took place in other parts of the country, as Canadians came together in a show of solidarity and patriotism that included folks of all races and religions.

In the midst of all this, I continued my routine, walking, swimming and working out in the water, maintaining the discipline of recovery as before. Many of us wonder if last weeks action will encourage our very conservative Conservative government to bring in laws and regulations that will place heavy restrictions on Canadian’s freedoms. Such changes might have no impact on my recovery program, but would have an impact on my state of mind and soul. In the meantime, I will swim at 6:00 AM tomorrow morning as usual, my own affirmation that life continues as before.

In this, I seem to be in step with a large percentage of Canadian citizens, upset and enraged at such cowardly murders of our military, and at the attack on the home of our democratic government, but resolute in the conviction that such actions will not reduce us to fear, but will, on the contrary, urge us to pride and courage, and a desire to live our lives as before, in freedom.

My days this week will partly devoted to preparations for my travels east to visit children and grandchildren. As usual, I am resolved to pack more efficiently and with fewer “things” since I will be paying for a checked bag!

A busy weekend.

It’s been a week and a half since I last posted. It has been quite a full week, with some fresh excitement and stress in my life. Early on, I was involved in a tense meeting of an organization of which I am a part. An interior conflict, which has been brewing for over two years, finally hit the surface, and required a general meeting. It struck me as odd that such a tense conflict could only be spoken of in general and non-specific terms, with solutions proposed that were tentative at best. Potential resolution came after the fact, when one of the participants in the quarrel was temporarily relieved on membership. I’m quite sure that this tense struggle will continue, as people try to talk about it without talking about it. Do you get it? No…neither do I!

I was involved in two professional and public events last week. The first was the funeral of a man with no church or institutional of church connections. His passion was motorcycles, which seemed to be at the centre of his life. His whole life was organized around bikes and bikers. No gang, connections, just bikes. The gathering was almost totally denim and leather. The men and women were actually very nicely dressed, in “formal” leathers. A Veterans Biker group, to which the deceased belonged, were there in their club uniforms. They were very military, very smartly turned out and very respectful in their mourning rituals. I found relating to the family very stimulating. They had no idea what to expect from a minister, and so their outlook was governed by the way we connected. It seemed to go well.

Funerals like this always intrigue me. I am of the opinion that everyone deserves a respectful and spiritual burial, regardless of their faith stance. It was, for me, a tiring afternoon, but a worthwhile time commitment.

Sunday morning I conducted worship and preached in a Presbyterian Church in Red Deer. I am a known quantity to them, and feel reasonably at home there. For me, the most significant aspect of being involved in these two events was the anxiety and stress I experienced in preparing for them. My physician responded promptly to my reporting of this, and I suspect the situation will be easier in the future. The whole business underlined again for me that I could not work, even ½ time, even if I was so inclined. My energy level simply wouldn’t allow it.

In another sphere, I am finding the AM swims invigorating, and I am improving in my ability to process oxygen. This morning, for example, I swam four lengths before I had to stop for breath. It is getting easier. Beatrix is charging ahead in top gear. She swam 24 consecutive lengths this morning. I was teasing her on the way home. “I made the commitment to swim 40 lengths,” I said. “It looks like you will get to keep that commitment! Me? Not so much!”

Plans for my upcoming journey to visit children and grandchildren took another step forward, as I purchased a legal carry-on bag yesterday. They are amazingly large and light. This one is bright orange: my “Jack Layton” bag…the Orange Revolution.

This morning, I spent some time examining the hand-made quilt given me by the Bashaw congregation when I left them five years ago. It has a square made by each family. Reading it was very touching and brought back some fond memories. It is unfortunate that my time there concluded with them terminating me, with pay, three months early because the student with whom I was working refused to work with me. He, of course, was their future…as well as being quite a sociopathic individual. So I paid. It left a very sour taste in my mouth, despite the lovely quilt.

Tomorrow I must appear at Red Deer Presbytery’s meeting, as the 55^th anniversary of my ordination to ministry will be recognized. Apparently, I am expected to say a few words. Like what? “It’s been a slice?” I await inspiration.

October marches along…

I can’t believe it has been ten days since I wrote here! I have been writing for the local paper, rushing around to appointments, exercising…and recovering (of which more anon) and running errands. Not much of a life, but it’s what I’ve got.

Actually, the exercise part has been challenging this week. I’ve started swimming, as I mentioned before (I think). Initially, one length of the pool left me gasping for breath. Now, with the help of flippers, I can swim two lengths at one time. This past week, on three mornings, I swam either 18 or 20 lengths of the pool this way. What I’m aware of is that my body is still getting used to this, and is not ready to do it easily. The last swim, Friday the 10^th, I was so exhausted at the end of it that I could scarcely climb out of the pool. As well as getting my wind back, I must also get the rest of my body conditioned to the work. Each time I surface at the end of a length or two, I am aware of the smooth and beautiful strokes of the young swimmers in nearby lanes, stroking back and forth, back and forth, with nary a pause in their workout. I am continually impressed…even awestruck…by the sight!

Earlier this week, I was in Red Deer (45 minutes away) shopping and running errands, when I received a call from a local Funeral Home. The mortician on call had remembered my self-presentation and me from three years ago when I worked in Red Deer, and was phoning me to ask if I would be willing to conduct a funeral and burial for a relatively young man, of no religious affiliation, a biker (not a gang member) who had died of brain cancer. Here was a very distraught family, with an inherent bias against institutional religion, who needed some sensitive care at a traumatic time of their lives. I was touched and flattered that she recalled me so well, and especially in this kind of situation. Somehow, she had picked up that, for me, a person’s religious perspective, or lack of one, is irrelevant at the time of death. Every person is loved by God, the Creator, I believe, and deserves a respectful spiritual experience for the family at the end of life. I had the chance to visit with a portion of the family the very afternoon I was called, and connected well with them. I will see the remainder of the family a day or two before the funeral.

In reflecting on this experience, I became aware of how important it is for me to still be useful to people in a pastoral way, and to be remembered as a competent pastoral person. This opportunity, plus the invitation to conduct worship and preach in a replacement manner for a Red Deer Presbyterian Church next week, brought this aspect of my life back to the fore in a big way. During the past two weeks, prior to these invitations, I have been feeling that my days, apart from the morning (and occasional evening) workouts, were empty, and without purpose. It’s difficult to describe the feeling. Life is experienced as flat, and without purpose or value, a kind of waiting time. Waiting for what…is the question. Perhaps just for the end of it? Clearly I have much more to do on this topic, to give the remaining months or years of my life some point for me.

In the meantime, I walk, I swim, I gasp for increased breath in the water, and I connect with people, looking for ways to be fully alive in my latter days. For today, however, I am alive, and I am valued and I am loved. I completed plans this week for a two week trip to the east – Winnipeg, Brandon and Ottawa – to visit my children and grandchildren, and a couple of cousins. A vacation of sorts, and an opportunity to let a whole clutch of people know how much I love them and miss them. Of course, I will also take the opportunity to visit the newly opened Canadian Museum of Human Rights in Winnipeg, spearheaded by my eldest daughter’s close friend, Gail Asper. I look forward to that experience…and all the experiences that await me in the coming month.