Home again, home again, jiggly jig!

Home from the Denver trip…thank God. Traveling by plane at my age is NOT fun. Not enough leg - room, too stiff…by the time I get to my destination, I’m exhausted. While in Denver, I got to walk on their state-of-the-art walking trail down the creek behind Tammy and Roger’s house. Great place, that. The visit was good, giving me a chance to connect with Beatrix’ s three nieces; Kennedy (16), Jordan (14), and Magdalene…Maggie (11). The oldest and youngest are gymnasts, and from them I learned more about gymnastics than I wanted to know. Kennedy practices 5 hours a day, six days a week. Maggie – 4 ½ hours a week, four days a week. Not much time in their lives for anything else, apart from school and homework and meals. I’ve never seen such calloused hands on a young person, nor have I seen six-pack abs on a child before. Maggie has a phenomenal body, which will change when she goes through puberty and gets more rounded. Their lives are packed…and unbalanced, from my perspective. Jordan is a cup-stacking champion, and leads a much more balanced life.

The walking in Denver continued my recover program – I am now walking a full hour every day – and I’m feeling the better for it. Some new thoughts entered my mind this weekend. I may recover fully from this surgery and body change, but I m entering the final stage of my life. I will be 80 in December. My father lived until one month prior t his 85^th birthday, my mother until just before her 84^th. Perhaps I will live longer – the benefits of a healthy childhood diet – but not necessarily. What do I have? Four years? Perhaps five? With luck, a decade? So many things I want to do, so many people I want to thank, so much time I want to spend with my children and grandchildren. Who knows how much I will be able to do? And what if I become demented? Or disabled? Questions for which I do not have answers. So every day, I walk my hour, knowing that each step gives me the chance to live a bit longer.

Attended a Klag play twice this week. An hysterical comedy about a farmer who hates change. His characteristic comment on everything is, “Aw, Jeez…!” The final scene is a giggle, with the older woman – his life – flashing him because they have “an hour to…you know, “use”” before company arrives!

 This weekend, we will wind up Beatrix’ two week vacation (time from last year) by having dinner with friends in Edmonton and then attending a burlesque show! Great fun…lots of humour…and no stripping, Erin informs me! We spent the day in Red Deer, shopping and looking for “I am Canadian”: T’s for the US girls – who asked for them. Last stop Saturday: the West Edmonton Mall, where we have been told the T’s are available. In the meantime, walk daily, meet with my Masonic brothers for coffee tomorrow, and gear up for the weekend. It’s good to be home. After being driven through Denver traffic for an hour to get to our flight (“We live close to the airport…”), I’m glad that I live in a small town, where “close” means a five-minute walk around the corner!

Denver bound

Just a couple of days until we leave for Denver. I am in the midst of my usual anxiety about packing. I’m always terrified that I will forget something important, like medication. Or that I won’t have enough. This must be related to the memory loss that I have experienced since the stroke last year. Not that I had a perfect memory before that. But now, the more anxious I get, the worse my memory is. Sigh…

I also have a problem about travelling to the USA. I have a strong anti-American bias. It’s not about the American people. I have relatives in the US, so does Beatrix. But the domestic and foreign policies of the nation give me great annoyance and fear. As a conglomerate, the USA appears to me to be arrogant and totally self centred. I avoid going there as often as I can. Visiting Beatrix’ sister’s family is a command performance, however. And I like them all. I’m sure I’ll enjoy the time with them. But standing in a US customs line gives me the willies. The personnel always seem to be paranoid and hostile to anyone who looks or acts different. I’m always concerned that they will read my mind and have me on the floor with my hands in cuffs in a flash. Stupid, I know…but real to me.

In some ways, going to the USA is part of my recovery. It’s a new thing for me to do, a kind of ‘stepping out’ from my usual avoidance. I haven’t been in Denver since 1969, when I was living in Kansas, and drove across to Denver for a conference. I remember how bracing the air was, with snow flying in October. And I have the ‘good feeling’ knowing that Colorado has legalized marijuana, an enlightened act for sure. Not that I have ever used pot, but it appears to be a lot less dangerous than alcohol. Our government is so stupid about pot. I say, ‘legalize it, control it, and make tax money from it!’

It seems that I am drawing near to the end of my involvement in the Cardiac Rehab program in Wetaskiwin. I’m progressing in the activities, and my heart rate and blood pressure are lower each time. The upper body exercises are really helpful. I need to find a way to continue them after the program is finished. I’ll need the improved strength if I intend to swim. And I do intend to swim!

My walking regime continues, and I’m getting up to 55 minutes. I’m walking differently, so my knees don’t get sore. I take a tablespoon of lemon juice each day in water, as recommended by a friend. Amazingly, my knees seem to be less painful. Or maybe it’s that my sleep has improved. Who knows? Less pain is better, whatever the reason.

My News column on King James homosexual lifestyle drew two hostile letters to the editor, as I had hoped. One was a long and rambling diatribe attempting to disprove my thesis that homosexuality was “legitimate.” Of course, I wasn’t trying to prove that at all. I simply put some facts before the conservative community, so they would understand where their King James Bible came from. I was annoyed that the writer of the letter missed my point and blasted me for something I wasn’t doing. So I gave in t my urge, and wrote a brief letter to the editor stating that the author of the letter had missed my point completely. It gave me a chance to scold him mildly, and restate my points again! I can hardly wait for my letter to appear, and see if there are any further responses. The pleasures of the old and useless!

Hi! I haven't bailed…

Haven’t posted in awhile. Distracted. It’s probably the sun…and the snow that came with it. It wasn’t  a lot of snow, but geez, it’s MAY!

Well, all the books are gone, and after the trauma of knowing they were going, I kond of settled down. Relieved to have it done. The other morning when I got up, I realized that I needed to do the same thing with my closet. There followed a wild half hour, during which I dumped all my “fat” clothes, plus stuff on my closet that I haven’t worn or even looked at for two years! I keep wondering what this has to do with recovery, but in my head, it all fits together.

My walk is up to 50 minutes daily. I have a concern about my knees. They get really sore and stiff, more than ever before. I’m afraid this is going to interfere with my prescribed walking. I keep trying to change my stride to find a distance that is comfortable. It worries me.

Got new and additional medication. Scary stuff. The pharmacist gave me the print out of information that goes with the new drug…four pages! The stuff is so sensitive to moisture that each capsule is encased in heavy-duty aluminum, which I have to open with a knife! I take the stuff very carefully, with water, and then watch diligently for side effects. So far, none. The big advantage of this drug is that I no longer have to go have my blood checked every two weeks. I think I’d rather have the blood drawn than watch these capsules so suspiciously.

It helped that we had a class on medication as part of the Cardiac Rehab program. I understand the role of each drug more completely, and I know a pharmacist that I can ask about them at the hospital.

Recovery…it goes on and on, with minimal gains each week. But I get feedback from others that I look better. How bad did I look before. Geez…I feel better too, except for my knees. Nothing to do but keep on keeping on.

Planning for our trip to Denver next week. I suddenly realize that I have to count my pills carefully, and take enough for the whole time, because I can’t get any in the US. I had four prescriptions filled today. On the weekend, I’ll do the count and start packing them for travel. Recovery…I’ll be on some of those meds for the rest of my life. Sobering.